Octoberings

The leaves have turned and they are falling. No frost yet but the heat finally had to be turned on. This weekend was full of concerts and joy. Caught the end of Blue Heron after my rehearsal on Friday, went out for dinner on Saturday before seeing Jordi Savall and Hesperion XXI at Harvard. Met up with a gamba buddy I haven't seen in ages who drove down from VT for the concert and we drank beer and played gamba together well into the night. I cooked pancakes Sunday morning and had a lazy day before the Cambridge Concentus concert, followed by good food and going to bed early. What I was struck by this weekend is how many wonderful people there are out there whom I really enjoy and how little time I actually devote to seeing them. I've been holed up most of the semester spending a lot of time by myself here at home (and not as productively as I'd like) as well as a lot of time with K. I don't regret this because schlepping around to lots of parties and events is too much excitement for me but I have decided that I'm going to try to get out more. I'm not going to go to extremes but maybe I'll try to do one adventuresome thing a week. One thing I might otherwise not do out of fear, obligation, laziness, anxiety, etc. We'll see how it works out.

In other news, I am scrapping all of my bad left-hand habits and rebuilding my technique from scratch. It's about time and I knew it had to happen but the intonation on the cello recital was just not acceptable and is holding my playing back. I hate the patient and diligent work it takes to change something very fundamental about my playing but there is a masochistic part of me that enjoys how tedious it is, how frustrating. Because it's so obvious when you start to get it right and you can see the results of your work so easily.

But that work will happen tomorrow. Now for an early bedtime before a long (and hopefully productive) day.

Beach Story

As promised, a story of many adventures:

K and Xt and I went to the beach yesterday. It was a beautiful morning, there were sand sculptures to behold. As we left K's apartment, we wondered if maybe it would rain later but left anyway. It turned out "later" was "while we were still on the way to the T-station." I had brought an umbrella and Xt had a raincoat and K was prancing along with his shirt rolled up in his pocket (it was exceedingly hot out and humid) and we made it to the train damp but intact. Being the hardy and obstinate people we are, we never considered not going to the beach. As we got off the train we were overwhelmed by crowds of beach-goers returning home. Our arrival was also heralded by some claps of thunder and ominous flashes of lightning. Determined not to have traveled so far in vain, we made our way to the beach, jumping through puddles and failing to stay dry (note to self: sharing umbrella with a tall person makes for a lot of rain on the short person). Everyone was huddled under the pavilions and the beach area was deserted except for the sculptures (which were only just starting to melt a little in the persistent rain). So we stashed our stuff that needed to stay dry (mostly, my extra set of clothes and phones) and set off. It was great fun. The sculptures were fabulous, there was the added pride of being "those people" that everyone was watching from their dry shelters and thinking we were crazy. We were totally soaked when we walked back to the train, forded the river that was where the street had once been (fortunately, no oxen died and no axles broke) and ate peaches and sandwiches while trying to wring out our clothes while we were wearing them. The trip home was pretty miserable, but the hot shower upon arrival made it all worth it. We watched some BBC ocean nature shows and later made summer rolls for dinner. A lovely evening. Thus went yesterday.

Unrelated but Important Note: "The Secret Life of Words" may well be the best film I have ever seen. It will not be enjoyed by those who like to have a concrete story line and dislike overly depressing things, but I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys interesting characters and human relationships. I watched it Saturday night and I plan to watch it again on Wednesday with K. It is that good.

A Good Weekend

It started off with a quiet Friday evening and me watching a good movie. "Protagonist" is a documentary of four disparate but parallel life stories told through the structured framework of formal Greek tragedy. Great stories, great puppets, I recommend it. Saturday, I cleaned the house. Not quite like a fiend, but there are no longer grapefruit-sized balls of cat fur hiding in every corner. Also, the kitchen has returned to its comfortable and user-friendly status. Went to a Baroque oboe recital that was unbelievable. My friend G is finishing up his DMA requirements and this was his last recital before he moves to Indiana. He is a real character and plays with so much elegance and elàn (out comes the crossword puzzle vocabulary!). A bunch of us went out to a bar afterwards and K came and met me there after he was done bowling in pajamas with a bunch of the Kwifflebee/Oberlin people. This morning, I fooled around on K's guitar (totally cheated by tuning the g to an f# to mimic gamba tuning), managed to sing and play La Folia, figured out some Marais and then wrote a fun progression which I scribbled down in tab for future use. Meanwhile, K had cooked us delicious scrambled eggs with vegetables and cheese, it was sooooo yummy. Then I tagged along to the foursquare game in which I eventually participated and really enjoyed. Playing with people who are fun and not very competitive is great. This was followed by lunch and much browsing in an amazing loose tea store. On my way home, it started raining and I actually had an umbrella with me, so I ambled along listening to the downpour and staying dry from the knees up. I arrived home to the bread I had made yesterday and subsequently forgotten about and even played some gamba!

More Stolen Words

A dear old friend of my family and brilliant writer, Steve Kuusisto, posted a poem on his blog this morning that made me smile so I've decided to repost it here for all of you. My father once said that the aim of poetry is to bring back the dead. He hasn't yet explained to me how this works but Steve's poem puts me in mind of the idea.

How Poetry Works

I wasn’t one of those who believed in the end of days.

I gave a butterfly my fingertip.

I was sweaty, loving, crude, open, honest, and bookish.

I didn’t just "believe" in the Bill of Rights,

I wove my clothing from its threads.

I held the kelson of creation and a dying man

And knew they are the same.

I saw the constitution of the living and of the dead

And knew they are the same.

Sometimes in the sweetness of a summer’s hour

I held the face of the man I loved

And I held the face of the woman I loved

For all faces are divine

Reposed in the ardor

Of the sky.

What did I tell you anyway?

Poems hold so tightly to everything, everyone--

There is no good time to go.

These leaves know nothing

But light and dark

And how to live.

--S.K.

MmmHmm

Two nights ago, I made a lemon cake for T's 25th birthday party (see facebook for amazing pictures of said party). Last night, I made a feast. What can I say, I was feeling inspired! T and his roommate and Stiney came over as well as K (to whom I will introduce you in a later paragraph). Here is what I made:

-Apple-carrot confetti salad with lemon juice and dried cranberries (check-plus and easy to make!)
-Spicy lentil-filled deep-friend pastries (check-plus on the filling, check-minus for all the hassle of rolling them up and frying them)
-Sweet potato bread (check-plus as always!)
-Bell peppers stuffed with rice, tomatoes, mint, dill and parsley with a creamy feta sauce over them (check-plus!)

Needless to say, we stuffed ourselves, and then ate more, and then ate cake! Then we cleaned up the kitchen and sipped tea and played Anagrabble (a game with the Scrabble tiles). It was fabulously fun and I'm still smiling to remember all the different spices and flavors and all the wonderful laughter with friends.

Okay, who is K, you ask? K is a new friend and a wonderful person who also happens to be an extremely attractive man who by some grace of god likes me too. He's not a musician (I never expected to date anyone other than musicians!) but listens with more emotional intelligence and passion than many musicians I know. He may not know the words I've learned to use to describe music, but he knows the feelings that are behind them. I'll tell you more about him in the future if I don't manage to scare him off! But for now, I'm happy.

Now it's time to get back to eating left-overs and writing blue-grass tunes!

Lazy Summer Days

So, let's recap the last week or so. Went to Florida to ostensibly visit my grandfather and his wife but really to see my dad and sister who visited at the same time. We luxuriated on the beach, got sunburned, laughed. We fought too, but not much and it was good to see them both.

I also just found out that the trip to Taiwan is canceled. Apparently, the economy there is very bad and the company that was organizing the tour went bankrupt. I'm disappointed but also a little relieved. People my age are supposed to love to travel, and I do love seeing new places but the traveling itself wears me out. I need time to recover from the trip before I can really enjoy a place and usually there isn't enough time for that. So I was nervous about being on the other side of the world, jet-lagged, with three days to fix a harpsichord and prepare for a professional concert series. I would have loved to see Taiwan, to walk through the natural gorge carved out of marble, to eat exciting food, to teach Baroque cello. But there is a lot more of my life coming up in which I will do those things. For now, I'm happy to enjoy what I have in Boston: great friends, decent weather, my lovely house, free time.

I cooked for the first time in a long time last night and it made me feel like me again. I can still bake bread without a recipe. I can still create something delicious out a pile of beautiful vegetables.

So here I am, sitting around the house, not really doing anything but enjoying the mundanity of it all and scheming up adventures and dinners.

Who'd have thought?

I feel strong! This is in large part thanks to Kayle and the rest of the kwifflebee-ers. I've been playing frisbee with them for the last few weeks on Tuesdays and rock-climbing on Wednesdays. I've always had a tortured relationship to exercise. I love playing games and running around with people but I get way too bored trying to do it by myself. Attempting to jog, I quit when I get tired; playing frisbee, I will keep going despite blisters on my feet and cramps in my legs. And I love it! Last night, climbing, I flashed a route that at first I thought would be too hard for me (it was rated 5.8+). Even Kayle (with all his extra height and wingspan) had some trouble with it. I felt like I could do anything! I don't know what will happen once the school year starts and I'm busy again, but for the summer, I'm going to keep running around as much as I can.

Sidenote: Lest you all think I was joking about being a bluegrass rockstar, I'm still writing, still composing, still making up songs in my head on the way home from the bus-stop!

Marais

I've been unproductive recently. This happens to me with alarming regularity, for a few days I just won't be able to do anything useful that's not scheduled. This used to be less of a problem back when everything in my life was scheduled and had due dates. Now that I'm supposed to be self-motivated and ambitious, losing days to my meandering motivation is keeping me from doing everything I want to.

So instead of letting today slip away, I went out into the world and got something done. Perhaps not the most pressing or important of things, but it was something. I sat in Espresso Royale for two hours nursing a cup of coffee (that doubled as lunch) and finishing cutting and pasting and writing out the parts for my Marais suite. Then ran back to CFA to scan my fragile constructions and then to the library to wait in line forever so that I could print them out for free. Tomorrow I will put them in envelopes and leave them for my collaborators and that task will be finished. Of course, being able to play said pieces would also be useful, but I have a couple weeks left for that!

I love this weather, if only it would stay like this and never get too hot! The smells of all the flowers opening and the variety of birdsong makes me yearn for picnics and jumping in lakes and bike rides and farmer's markets and rhubarb pies! It also makes me lonely. When did we grow up and get too busy for these things? How did we get tied down, stuck in our ways, confined to our own stereotypes of ourselves?

Best Day Ever!

Good food, good friends, good weather.

Except for getting up early for a 9:30am jury, today was perfect. Boston was warm and sunny today and I wore a dress and sandals to celebrate! Got my plane ticket for Taiwan and had lunch in Chinatown with friends. Spent the afternoon in the sun on the porch cutting and pasting and writing out music for my recital. Practiced (!!!). Cooked delicious coconut rice and Thai curry and even made Thai tea. L came over and we ate and talked about all sorts of things, it was great. Then T (Baroque violinist) came over and I got to feed her too! We all listened to the recording of us from Sunday while sipping scotch and then devoured a mango while listening to all the pieces we want to learn together. It was everything I could ever ask for. And now I get to curl up in my warm comfy bed with a cat or three and tomorrow I get to eat leftovers!

I am a very happy and content Zoe.

Aftermath

I seem to have survived last week and come crashing into this week, which I plan to conquer as well!

I had a very strange experience on Sunday. I am a veteran procrastinator and under-practicer, I rarely get pieces as polished as I wish they would be. However, I don't think I've ever played a real concert (with audience and everything) feeling vastly unprepared before. And yet, despite messing up tons of things I know I can play and not knowing what was coming next, I played extremely well on Leon's recital. It was bizarre. I missed shifts, I flubbed runs, I played the wrong strings, and yet, I was musical and created the beauty I hoped to create. And the audience heard it too. They congratulated me with real sincerity, they truly enjoyed it. It makes me both chagrined and elated. I never want to be that unprepared again for a concert and yet, maybe this marks a new era in my performing life, actually being able to express my ideas on an instrument effectively. I hope so.

J left for Texas at early-as-hell-o-clock this morning and she'll be gone a whole week! I'm not sure what I'll do with myself and the emptiness of our house. I hope to practice a lot but I'll try not to become a recluse. Come over for dinner! Watch a movie with me!

Another Monday

Well, here we are again, back at the beginning of another busy week. I'm playing in an opera (concert version), a recorder recital and L's harpsichord recital (don't be deceived, I'm playing some really hard solo rep on it!). I've also decided to take an audition for Boston Baroque. I have very little time to prepare and I don't really expect to make their sub-list but I haven't played many auditions in my life (I hate them!) and it will be good practice for me. To pre-reward myself for all this, I've decided to take the afternoon off and go shopping. Silly as it is, having something new to wear to one of these events will motivate me to practice more.

I made rosemary focaccia and lasagne last night for a bunch of friends and L came over too. It was fun to watch people I love who don't know each other enjoy themselves together. I also got to play with construction paper and make posters for L's upcoming recital (for which T miraculously created an origami harpsichord!).

See you at the end of the madness!