Octoberings

The leaves have turned and they are falling. No frost yet but the heat finally had to be turned on. This weekend was full of concerts and joy. Caught the end of Blue Heron after my rehearsal on Friday, went out for dinner on Saturday before seeing Jordi Savall and Hesperion XXI at Harvard. Met up with a gamba buddy I haven't seen in ages who drove down from VT for the concert and we drank beer and played gamba together well into the night. I cooked pancakes Sunday morning and had a lazy day before the Cambridge Concentus concert, followed by good food and going to bed early. What I was struck by this weekend is how many wonderful people there are out there whom I really enjoy and how little time I actually devote to seeing them. I've been holed up most of the semester spending a lot of time by myself here at home (and not as productively as I'd like) as well as a lot of time with K. I don't regret this because schlepping around to lots of parties and events is too much excitement for me but I have decided that I'm going to try to get out more. I'm not going to go to extremes but maybe I'll try to do one adventuresome thing a week. One thing I might otherwise not do out of fear, obligation, laziness, anxiety, etc. We'll see how it works out.

In other news, I am scrapping all of my bad left-hand habits and rebuilding my technique from scratch. It's about time and I knew it had to happen but the intonation on the cello recital was just not acceptable and is holding my playing back. I hate the patient and diligent work it takes to change something very fundamental about my playing but there is a masochistic part of me that enjoys how tedious it is, how frustrating. Because it's so obvious when you start to get it right and you can see the results of your work so easily.

But that work will happen tomorrow. Now for an early bedtime before a long (and hopefully productive) day.

Decisions

Decisions, those pesky mental tasks we put off as long as possible, letting them accumulate dust and cat hair like the piles of unread books sitting around my room. But lo, I have made some. I am going to stay in Boston a third year. I am going to apply to the musicology program at BU so I can do the combined major that J has been doing. I'm going to spread the extra courses out over two semesters so that I can also take German. I will come up with a brilliant and interesting thesis/lecture-recital topic, write the best Fulbright application ever, and continue playing with my wonderful musical colleagues. I am relieved to be done with the pondering over this. Whether or not it turns out to have been the right decision (although I think it will), now that I've made it, I can get to work on its implementation, a concrete thing that I find much easier than the endless contemplating.

There is something so invigorating about fall weather, the crispness of the mornings, the lazy warmth of the afternoons. I've been sleeping with the windows open and a big comforter wrapped all around me. I love the juxtaposition of the warmth and the cold air on my face.

My recital is four weeks from tomorrow. I'm not ready, but hopefully I will be when the time comes. There are a lot of notes in my program and a lot of expressive things I need to figure out, get control of, learn to execute well. It's funny feeling like a cellist again after years of identifying more as a gamba player who also plays Baroque cello. I do love the cello, in a different and perhaps not equal way to the way I love the viol but still, there's a deep affection for it. Cello has all the memories of my past from before I began gamba.

There is leftover sweet potato bread and rice and curry from my cooking efforts last night, I think they will make a lovely lunch after I finish my tea.

Post-Conclave

My Faithful Readers, I have returned! I spent a week in New Hampshire playing gamba, drinking booze, playing more gamba and only occasionally sleeping. It was an intense experience and it took me a few days to recover (not just from the sleep but from being surrounded by people and music all the time). I feel more or less like myself again now (and really, when do I ever truly feel like myself?) and have returned to attempting to chart out the course of my life. I have several competing outlines at the moment, none of which have been fleshed out yet. I'm going to do some research into my options to fill in some holes and help me decide which outline I like best. Some of the plans surprised even me but meeting so many people at conclave who were in different places in their careers and following different paths, I was inspired to be less narrow in what I envisioned for myself.

One of the most exciting things at conclave (and the one I had no idea about) was getting to play on electric viols. One of the people there owns three and had brought them and his whole electronic set-up with him. The set-up included a really fun loop pedal that allows you to lay down multiple layers of grooves to jam over. Messing around on that stuff was pure joy. Also getting to improvise with someone else for the first time in too many years. I'd forgotten what an intimate experience that was and how integral improvisation is to my happiness and musical creativity. I'm definitely going to get some equipment so that I can better record and play over myself.

In other news, K took off for California yesterday and by the time he returns, I'll have left for my last vacation of the summer, so I won't see him until September. It's unfortunate and I'm sure I'll miss him, but conclave has filled me with a sense of purpose and musical drive that I think will keep me entertained.

For now, I will munch on a little more of J's delicious banana bread!

Off to NH!

Bright and early on the morrow I depart for scenic Ringe, New Hampshire. Why, you ask? For the Viola da Gamba Society of America Summer 2008 Conclave, obviously! Seriously though, it's my first time going to this annual event where the whole American gamba world congregates to play consorts and drink booze for a week. I'm pretty excited. Not only will I get to hobnob and drink with awesome dorky people much like myself, I will also get to coach and be coached by lots of different and talented people. I haven't really heard that many different gamba players and I'm interested in seeing their approaches to technique and music. A full report will be made upon my return. In anticipation of bad cafeteria food, I have packed a half-loaf of bread I made yesterday, juice boxes of soy-milk, luna bars, apples and peaches to supplement my diet with. Gotta change a broken string on the gamba tonight and then get some sleep because I'm getting up early!