A Virtual Homecoming?

I decided to post something here since I haven't in a long time and for no explicable reason I have begun to feel guilty about this. Let's see, since November, I have:

-Gotten my new/old cello! My "e-bay special" made in approximately 1720 in Saxony was restored and I've been playing on it since January. It sounds great, has a big meaty tone, lovely dark varnish, a short neck I've been adjusting to slowly. I'm very happy with it but as of yet have not been inspired to name it.

-Taken a medieval notation class that is a lot of hard work but really fun (it's like solving puzzles!) and mostly enjoyable. I can now decipher really old music.

-Produced a concert by myself. It happened in March and was a whole bunch of beautiful German laments from the late 17th century. It was great fun, I learned a lot, I hope to do this again but maybe not for a while.

-Played in a masterclass for Wieland Kuijken. While I only had fifteen minutes with him due to poor planning, I played the first movement of the G-major Bach gamba sonata fairly well, got some interesting ideas and played it again much better. Nothing life-changing but a lot of people got to hear me play and I got to meet Wieland. Am looking forward to his concert tomorrow night.

On the table right now:

-Am still dating K. This isn't so much of an accomplishment, per se, but it kind of feels like one. It's been almost a year and we're still happy with each other. How cool is that?

-Am preparing for my lecture recital. My final requirement for my master's degree. The topic is the musical symbolism of the gamba. I will trace the gamba's allegorical meanings from the Italian intermedii through Bach's highly specialized usage in his cantatas and passions. There will also be pretty music. Tentatively, the date is May 12th at 3PM in Marsh Chapel at BU.

-Am preparing for the Concentus tour to Japan. Starting to learn St. Matthew bass lines as I will be the cello for orchestra one.

-Am also working on a longer term project of creating a Baroque cello excerpt book. This seems to have snowballed into a gigantic bit of work compiling everything hard for the Baroque cello, finding public domain sources and creating my own edition (possibly for publication!). A second volume of gamba excerpts may follow.

-I will be graduating from BU in mid-May with a Master of Music degree pending me turning in all the appropriate paperwork.

-Hence, I am looking for employment for next year. Also, housing. I'm staying in Boston since I've dug myself a nice little hole here full of friends and colleagues and occassional musical work.
Trying to put together a resume that includes skills other than music. Also, trying to figure out a way to make money that won't suck the living soul out of me. I am open to suggestions, offers, ideas, etc.

-My father is going to build a house on the land he just bought right outside of Ithaca and I'm hoping to spend some time there this summer helping him build and plant fruit trees and make a garden.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I have been terrible about keeping in touch with various people I love so maybe this post will count as something in a small way.

-Z

September

Here we are, on the precipice of another year. For me, the new year always begins in fall. Sadly, I think this has more to do with my immersion in the academic world than my Jewish heritage. Happy beginning of 08-09. This is a big year for me. Having established myself in Boston, made friends, played gigs, learned the ropes, I now can take advantage of all that to make smart choices about how much time I spend in rehearsals and for what. I know what I can and cannot do, what makes me happy, how important it is to have food with me at all times, etc. This is also the year I graduate from graduate school. I'll be a Zoe with a master's degree. How bizarre. That's almost enough qualification to do something important! I won't bore you with my agonizing over what comes next and the long term implications of that choice. But I do find myself in the mood for arbitrary devotion. I've always been independent, constrained only minimally by my family and closest friends, neither of which has much guided my life goals or choices. Since my mother's death, I've lost a lot of the feeling of grounded attachment to my family, and since that coincided fairly closely with leaving Oberlin and my network of wonderful friends, I've been afloat here. This is how I rationalize my current inclination to grab onto things and hold on tightly. I almost want make decisions, even compromises because of a boyfriend, a musical group. This is silly and unlike me. Luckily, my relationship with K isn't like that at all, it has a transient quality and its sense of inevitable ending, so I am not tempted to stay in Boston for him. I would, however, choose my next move if it meant I could continue playing with Leon and Tats. I don't think this is in the cards either as neither knows what happens after this year nor have we really solidified ourselves as an ensemble. So in the end, I'm stuck with myself, what do I want, what is best for me? These are questions that, ironically, I'm not able to answer. Ironic, because I'm good at helping others answer them, good at seeing what people really want even when they can't see it.

In other news, I've begun scheming about the recipe for my protein/granola bar that will overtake the free world for its healthfulness and deliciousness. That or allow me to continue to get nutrition throughout the business of the school year!

Acting Professional

I try to do this sometimes and usually fail. More often, it just happens without my knowing it. Last night, I played an opera. It was exhausting, mentally, physically (what circulation to my legs?), emotionally. Tonight, I do it again. There's a masochistic pleasure in putting oneself through such a thing to entertain and share music with others. It's satisfying and the exhaustion after validates how much effort you really put in. Saturday night, I play a recital. Sunday afternoon, I audition for a professional Baroque orchestra on cello and Sunday night, I play a huge concert on both six and seven-string gamba. I'm dealing with the details of going to Taiwan this summer to play concerts and give a masterclass. I just try to get through one day at a time and struggle to do everything I want to and maintain health and sanity. But on paper, here I am being a young professional musician. Very few people in the audience know I'm going to go home and bake cookies while dancing around to Klezmer or Celtic music in my pajamas and singing to the cats. Even fewer know what a struggle it is for me just to practice the instruments I love to play. And that's the rub, isn't it? Even the most elegant and "professional" among us are just people and those of us who are the least organized and competent can appear "professional" to those who don't know us.

Ourselves in Parallel Universes

Yesterday, while venturing out into the world to grab food between rehearsals, my roommate J, L (a harpsichordist), T (a Baroque violinist), and I got to talking about other professions we'd like to dabble in (gardening, massage therapy) and eventually posed ourselves the question: if you had to choose a career unrelated to music, what would it be?

L admitted to a deep passion for horticulture and a dream of being a landscape architect. T considered a life as a photographer. J surprised me saying that she'd enjoy a career in advertising and marketing. At the time, I claimed I'd probably go into something science-related. But thinking harder about it, that really isn't the right answer. Science was my back-up plan in case music didn't work out, another discipline I enjoy and am good at. But this is the hypothetical world we're talking about, a place where I can choose a career based on what I like unbound by such silly things as talent or practicality.

I think I would enjoy being involved in theater or film. No, I don't dream of being a movie star (although, who doesn't occasionally?). I might direct, or make costumes or sets, reinterpret great works, write new ones. Perhaps this latent desire to write is a forgotten gift from my parents. Because one cannot want to do what one's parents do, I never considered writing a possibility, never thought my love of words and books ran deeper than a childhood immersed in them. Maybe I could be a restorer of old books, a reader of dead languages. In the hypothetical it's never too late.

Alternatively, I think I'd run a diner or a B&B, or maybe a bakery. I often joke about this, but I really love the slow pace of small town life, the people stopping in to chat and have coffee and a muffin, the familiarity of everyone in the community, the small scale, the allowance for whimsy. Maybe I'd have a vegetable garden out back I'd use as ingredients, maybe I'd use my space to host concerts and poetry readings, square dances and weddings. Or just invent new recipes that people would enjoy.

In the end, I am a people-person. I like to work with them, provide for them, teach them, learn from them. If I have people with whom to ponder silly things, debate serious things, create things both great and small, I will be happy.

If you had to pick a career unrelated to the one you're currently in or aiming for, what would you do?